IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH TO MAKE ME HAPPY. A flickering candle, smoldering incense. Delicious food. Good wine. Honorable, passionate people. Dazzling sunsets. Enchanting moonbeams. A sensuous life. Perfect espresso to make the perfect cappuccino. For readers to love my books.

Okay, maybe I need to rephrase that opening thought. New opening thought: I AIM HIGH.


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Leaving the Lakehouse...

I suppose if I'm being honest, dreaming about the lakehouse three nights in a row, means something. And what it means is that my heart is clear but I'm still in pain, nevertheless...  Because I'm leaving the lakehouse, at last.

Yeah, I said that.
"I'm leaving the lakehouse."
It was inevitable.  Necessary.  It was time.

Just as it was important for me to go there---and experience everything that was destined to go down at that crooked little cottage on the lake---it was equally important for me to eventually leave it.

The winds have changed.
That era has come to an end.

I knew months ago, I had to leave the lakehouse.  Everytime we went, I could barely stand it --- I either had to change it completely, or get the hell out of there.  Too many ghosts of the past haunted that crooked cottage.  And when that happens, you either have to change the environ, or vacate it.

I chose to vacate it.  I'd gone there for a purpose, a period of my life, a season.  A season in my life that was a transition, a turning point.

My time at the lakehouse was literally the most refining, and defining period, of my life.  I found out who I am---REALLY. I found out what I'm made of---REALLY. I discovered what I want from this life---REALLY.

At the lakehouse, I discovered what's most important to me, what I need to survive, thrive, and be happy. I also learned to rely on God. I was reduced to my knees on several occasions, which is a beautiful thing, because when we're reduced to our knees, we are often reduced to God---and that's when the beautiful can happen.

Enter Jon Whittaker.
My game-changer, my history-maker, my restorer, my twin flame.
Fuck a soul mate. You haven't loved until you encounter a twin flame.

Jon Whittaker.  My Boaz.

Almost as soon as Jon came into my life, he began extracting me from the lakehouse. Giving me things and showing me things that ultimately taught me I no longer belonged there.

There is danger in lingering too long in the ashes of the past.
There is danger in staying too long in a place that is no longer a part of your story.

So, the lakehouse.
We let it go.
Had to let it go.

It served its' purpose.
And now, it's time to go.


I'll never forget the times there.  The dinners.  The parties.  The overnights.  The beach nights.  The sunrises.  The sunsets.  My Cheetah birthday parties.  My transformation, my evolution, my revolution.
It all happened there---there, at the lakehouse.  So one more classic lakehouse song?  Just one more spin...?  Maybe two...?






Jon says lakes are beautiful, but I belong at the ocean.
I know that's true.
My mermaid soul longs for, and reaches for, the ocean daily...
So... here we go.  *inhale*

HALLELUJAH. 

*exhale*



6 comments:

vicky said...

JoLynne whentein flames meet do they stay together?

ParaGoddess Press said...

Vicky, twin flames do not always stay together. It's a much more intricate relationship that soulmates... Both twin flames have to be at the same point, in order for it to work. If one is not developed/mature/ready for the relationship, they can drift apart. But the connection will always remain, and they will always think of one another. Sort of like a "phantom limb."

Vicky said...

TYVM surprised you could decipher my tragic spelling...- this makes complete sense to me.....yeah phantom limbs cause some pain

Eliseo Mauas Pinto said...

Kind soul... I am pleased to know that a new stage on this life is unfolding to you... It is marvellous to discover that there is always a time for new beginnings and rebirths... you are leaving a place now enriched by your enery and your emotions...you are now discovering the positive side of events and that is quite encouraging!.. It reminds me of one of my fav. kennings : when a door shuts a new one is opened somewhere... wish you all the best on your new path! Eternal bliss! =)♥(=

ParaGoddess Press said...

Eliseo, thank you so much --- what a beautiful blessing your words are!

ParaGoddess Press said...

Vicky, yes phantom limbs cause some pain... but the pain does numb, after a while. And never forget --- the pain caused by a phantom limb doesn't compare to the intense pain of being with a twin flame and that flame is not PRESENT, ABLE, or COMMITTED to the relationship.