Falling Apart... Sometimes Means Falling Together♥

This time last year, my life was upside down ---literally.  I was settled into my new, simpler and pared down life at the lakehouse, but my mother had recently passed away, nearly all my relationships were strained, dissolved or rearranging themselves, and my writing had come to a screeching halt. 

With the exception of poetry, journal entries and spiritual and inspirational pieces here on my blog, I wasn't writing.  That may seem like a lot, and it is... but for a novelist, it's not.  When you're an author, you have to keep writing books.  And when you're a magazine feature writer, you have to keep writing articles --- this is your bread and butter, it's your career, it's your reputation, and it's your food and bill money.

I spent a lot of time alone, grieving and releasing... healing and contemplating the realities, the condition, and the potential, of my life.  It was a hellish time.  I wouldn't relive it for anything.  I lived without food in those days, I lost friends, I lost pieces of myself, and I lost a book deal.

I didn't know it at the time, but the "house" that was my life, was being razed.  Sometimes, you really do need to take it all apart, break it open and tear it all down --- in order for something new and finer, to come into being. 

If someone had told me a year ago, what my life would be now, I wouldn't have believed it.   At the time, I couldn't see a road back... at the time, there was no light at the end if the tunnel.  But I wanted one --- and I prayed for it, constantly. 

Other powerful things I did during that time were:  (1)  I journaled daily, sometimes several times a day.  I wrote down all my feelings and thoughts (release); I wrote down reflections on what I'd lost (a big house, a relationship that was important to me at the time, good relationships with my kids, both my parents and most recently and suddenly, my mother; a thriving career, writing opportunities, excellent health, emotional stability.)  (2)  I wrote down, in affirmation style, what I wanted to reinstate, or recreate, in my life.  Example:  My life will soon be easier.  When the weight inevitably lifts, because this too shall pass as it is temporary, I will feel joy and ambition will return.  Inspiration will come.  Love will come.  I will laugh and dance, under the sun and on the beach.  

The above two activities were powerful.  These next three are just as powerful:  (3)  I looked at pictures of myself, that epitomized me happy, balanced, successful, on track.  I made them my profile pictures, and I kept them open on my desktop---I was reminding myself, visually, of who I was, and who I intended to become, again.  (4)  I took in nature --- a lot of nature.  I believe very strongly that the elements feed us energy.  Sun energizes and scourges us; sun heals our pain and banishes negativity.  Air blows away emotional debris and old thought and behavioral patterns that must go; air also inspires us and assists our mental and communicative clarity.  Water cleanses us and feeds our intuition; water also restores rejuvenates and refreshes us.  Earth grounds us; it stabilizes us and feeds us strength.  So I walked the beach constantly, and I was in the woods, daily --- in any and all weather.  I was the lone eccentric, crying, praying, writing and drawing, in the wild.  (5)  I never stopped praying.  It is my unshakeable belief that there is a higher power, and that power is able to intervene in our lives, pull strings we ourselves can't reach, redirect our paths and recalibrate our "settings".  I prayed, incessantly, for rebirth and renewal... for healing and joy.  I prayed for inspiration to write more books, and I prayed for true soul mate love.  I affirmed my prayers, daily --- meaning, I said aloud, that I believed all was possible, and I expected it to happen, according to the timetable of the Divine, which would be perfect for my life.

My message for everyone, today is: truth is, sometimes when things are falling apart, they're actually falling into place...  And if this amazing miracle of rebirth and recalibration, can happen for me, then darling, it most certainly can happen for you.

Stay #strong, lovers... and keep the faith ~ 
xo #ParaGoddess ♥